Sunday, May 4, 2014
You have been doing everything in your power to make things the way you think they should be. You have been trying your best to make sure things look nice or as best as it can look . You have been trying to make one person happy to the best of your ability. All you have been seeing is that you don’t seem to be doing that great of a job at any of these things.
You know you can do better, but when you try. It just doesn’t seem to be enough. You are trying to do what you can with what you have, but it never seems to be enough to do it. You are pushing yourself most days just to try and function. When inside, you know you don’t want to do anything at all. But, still you push yourself. Days when you don’t feel right physically, you still push yourself, because you know you have to do things.
There are days when you just want a hug, but you know you won’t get it. There are days you just want to get out and away. But you know you can’t. You feel trapped a lot. There are days that you are very down, but you hide it and push it back down. There are days you get to your breaking point almost, but again, you push that down and aside as well. You want to so much just let everything out, but you can’t.
So many times you have felt you have done something really good. But there is no one there to tell you, you did. You make something and again, there is no one there to tell you how much they like it or to give you ideas on how to possibly make it better. Even if its just something small. You have tried and accomplished things, even in your past, but once you completed them, you realized that you were not going to get told what a good job you have done. No one to tell you they are proud of you.
In your mind, you are nothing more than a failure.