Saturday, August 1, 2009

Please Touch Me Written on 4/8/93

I see your silouette against the wall, as you stand across the room. I look at you, not being able to look at me. I can see and feel your fright. Please touch me, you can not catch what I have. I sit or lay here in pain. No, not always physical. But, mental. Knowing that a simple touch or kiss is something you will not do for me. Just the touch of your finger tips would take all of my pain away. Please touch me, so I may be in comfort.
I know you, among many, can not or will not touch someone with what I have. I also know, when I am gone, I will be going on to a better place. Please touch me, so when I do go, I know I am loved.

All thouse infected with HIV

Don't Try to Reach Me Written on 5/2/93

When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me. Your love
I can not feel.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, your
touch frightens me.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm in
a black place.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm the
only one to lead myself home.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me.

A Letter To God

Dear God,

I know you hear from a lot of people, but the millions, every day. So I'm only one voice of many trying to talk to you. I know my prayers are not as important as so many others. At times, all that I feel an have inside, is so over whelming. I do my best to contain it and keep it in check. But, when I'm alone, it works its way to the surface.
The pain inside comes from stress and losses. The one I love, does not know of all the pain inside. He would not and does not know how to comfort me. No one know of it being bottled inside. I'm afraid to allow myself to start crying, because if i start, I do not think I will ever stop.
Everyone always says, time will heal all wounds. But, some wounds can not heal with all of the triggers around to keep them open. I do not kow if you will ever get this letter or hear my prayers among many. But, my hope is, just in writing it. I will be able to heal my heart just a little more.

Lost Written on 8/10/06

Looking down the long road ahead, so many twists and turns. You move forward cautiously. After a long journey, you start to feel weary. You begin to not know where you are, or where you are going. You feel at time, that you can not go on.
You meet so many others along the road. Some you love with all your heart, and still travel with you. Others you meet, only walk a short distance, and disappear. You know and feel you have given and lost a great deal in your life. But, no matter how far you have traveled, you are never alone.
When the tears traiil down your face, there are arms comforting you. Feeling tired, there is a shoulder to lean on for rest. So no matter how long the journey, whatever twists and turns come, all of the losses you have to endure. There is only one thing to remember....the road home is long, but you are never alone, and you are never lost.