Monday, May 16, 2011

Waking Up Alone

I open my eyes, just like I do every other morning. Yesterday it was a dreary day, rain, windy, and cold. I wanted to stay in bed. But, today, it was sunny and warm, birds were singing. I could smell the scent of fresh cut grass. I still wanted to stay in bed. I stretch my arm out across the bed, but your not there. You haven't been there for a long time.

At night, when I climb into bed, I sometimes think I can feel you climb in next to me. I sometimes think I can feel the heat of your body against me. But I know you are not there, the things I am feeling are all in my mind. But, those thoughts feel so real at times.

When I finally pull myself out of bed, I make my way to the kitchen and pull out 2 cups for our morning coffee. Then I realize I will only need one cup and put the other back onto the shelf. I have caught myself doing things like that many times. I have set the table for 2, I have hung 2 towels in our bathroom, I even make to much food because I forgot how to cook for only one.

Its been a long time since you have passed on and I find myself waking up alone. I do know in time all of that will change. But, the pain and memories will never fade away. No one will ever take your place in my heart and mind. I will find myself waking up alone for the rest of my life.

Through Their Eyes

I sit and watch you come into our space. You stop and look at me, knowing that all my friends are coming to the front of their homes as well, to see who you are. You reach through my door to scritch me softly on my ears and head, I lean into your hand. Loving every stroke you give me, not wanting it to end. But, you pull your hand back and the nice feeling stops. I watch as you move away from me to my friend next to me.

You walk up and down, stopping and visiting each of us. I can see it in your eyes, you do not know which one of us will be going home with you, if any of us at all. But, I know I have to present myself to the best I can. I sit and wag my tail, hop up and down to show you that I am ready to play with you at a moments notice. Then I sit and show you I can be calm and sit with you when you just want to cuddle.

Again, you stop, and again your fingers come through and stroke me more. I lean into your hand, wanting the touch to never stop. But the fingers disappear again. I bark, to voice my wanting more. But you move down and I can see you reach in to touch another friend of mine. I care about all of us, and want nothing more then all of us to go to our furever homes. But, I have to look out for myself also.

I will do everything you ask me to do. I can do whatever you wish me to do. I know tricks, I will never have an accident at home. All I want is to go with you to show you, I can and will be there for you always. I might have my faults at first, but will learn what I am to do and where I am to do it. All I ask is that you choose me to take with you. Sitting here day after day, and not leaving with any of you, tears at my heart. Makes me feel very unwanted and unloved. Am I? This is all I see through my eyes.

A Shelter Dog's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Upon the cold and hard concrete,
I dream of a warm blanket or bed
to lay my weary head.

A big bowl of food, to calm my
rubbling tummy. Along with
some fresh cold water to
quench my thirst.

Some toys to chew or chase,
would be a welcome thing. A yard
to run off all the energy I have

But, most of all, a nice warm
soft hand to stroke my head.
Letting me know I am in a
safe place and home furever.