I see your silouette against the wall, as you stand across the room. I look at you, not being able to look at me. I can see and feel your fright. Please touch me, you can not catch what I have. I sit or lay here in pain. No, not always physical. But, mental. Knowing that a simple touch or kiss is something you will not do for me. Just the touch of your finger tips would take all of my pain away. Please touch me, so I may be in comfort.
I know you, among many, can not or will not touch someone with what I have. I also know, when I am gone, I will be going on to a better place. Please touch me, so when I do go, I know I am loved.
For:
All thouse infected with HIV
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Don't Try to Reach Me Written on 5/2/93
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me. Your love
I can not feel.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, your
touch frightens me.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm in
a black place.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm the
only one to lead myself home.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me.
don't try to reach me. Your love
I can not feel.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, your
touch frightens me.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm in
a black place.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me, I'm the
only one to lead myself home.
When I'm lost inside myself,
don't try to reach me.
A Letter To God
Dear God,
I know you hear from a lot of people, but the millions, every day. So I'm only one voice of many trying to talk to you. I know my prayers are not as important as so many others. At times, all that I feel an have inside, is so over whelming. I do my best to contain it and keep it in check. But, when I'm alone, it works its way to the surface.
The pain inside comes from stress and losses. The one I love, does not know of all the pain inside. He would not and does not know how to comfort me. No one know of it being bottled inside. I'm afraid to allow myself to start crying, because if i start, I do not think I will ever stop.
Everyone always says, time will heal all wounds. But, some wounds can not heal with all of the triggers around to keep them open. I do not kow if you will ever get this letter or hear my prayers among many. But, my hope is, just in writing it. I will be able to heal my heart just a little more.
I know you hear from a lot of people, but the millions, every day. So I'm only one voice of many trying to talk to you. I know my prayers are not as important as so many others. At times, all that I feel an have inside, is so over whelming. I do my best to contain it and keep it in check. But, when I'm alone, it works its way to the surface.
The pain inside comes from stress and losses. The one I love, does not know of all the pain inside. He would not and does not know how to comfort me. No one know of it being bottled inside. I'm afraid to allow myself to start crying, because if i start, I do not think I will ever stop.
Everyone always says, time will heal all wounds. But, some wounds can not heal with all of the triggers around to keep them open. I do not kow if you will ever get this letter or hear my prayers among many. But, my hope is, just in writing it. I will be able to heal my heart just a little more.
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